“To My Fellow Non-American Blacks: In America You Are Black, Baby”
Dear Non-American Black, when you make the choice to come to America, you become black… America does not care… And here’s the deal with becoming black: If you are a woman, please do not speak your mind as you are used to doing in your country. Because in America, strong-minded black women are SCARY. And if you are a man, be hyper-mellow, never get too excited, or somebody will worry that you’re about to pull a gun… When a crime is reported, pray that it was not committed by a black person, and if it turns out to have been committed by a black person, stay well way from the crime area for weeks, or you might be stopped for fitting the profile…If you’re telling a non-black person about something racist that happened to you, make sure you are not bitter. Don’t complain. Be forgiving. If possible, make it funny. Most of all, do not be angry.Black people are not supposed to be angry about racism. Otherwise you get no sympathy. This applies only for white liberals, by the way. Don’t even bother telling a white conservative… Because the conservative will tell you that YOU are the real racist and your mouth will hang open in confusion."